10 Hidden Costs of Planning a Wedding

It's wedding season!! And speaking from personal experience, planning a wedding can be expensive! The most important thing when planning a wedding is to create a budget. We all know of the big budget line items when thinking about planning a wedding: Dress, food, venue, transportation, etc., but what about those things that don't come to mind?

Below are 10 Hidden Costs of wedding planning,  and how you can combat them!

1. Postage ---You would think something as small as postage isn't a major cost to consider, but 45 cents per envelope adds up! The most common stationary used for a weddings are save the dates, invitations, response card envelopes, and then thank you cards. I'll use myself as an example. We sent about 125  save the dates, invitations, and thank you cards. $125 x $.44= $55 x3 = $165. If you notice, I didn't count response cards because we didn't use them! That saved us $55. Instead of including a postage paid envelope, we asked that guests either call or email to RSVP. $55 doesn't seem like much but with planning a wedding every little bit counts. Also, be careful of the type of invitation you get. Depending on the size and weight, you may end up paying more than the standard postage per envelope.

2. Alterations ---If you purchased a dress or tuxedo that requires alterations, be wary of where you go. The more complex the alterations, the heftier your costs will be. I was utterly shocked at how much my alterations were. My alterations were 25% of the cost of my dress! Some bridal shops include alterations with the cost of the dress. Ask about this when you are shopping. Try to purchase a wedding dress locally!! If not, you will pay for the cost of alterations AND travel.

3. Wedding Accessories --- Earrings, shoes, necklace, bracelet, etc. Give yourself a spending cap for these items and purchase over time so that you are 1. not stressing yourself out weeks or days before the wedding, and 2. so that you aren't left with a large amount of money you have to spend in a short amount of time.

4. Taxes & Gratuity - The wedding planner has told you that your venue will be $40 per person for dinner. Let's say you have 125 guests. That's $5000. The SUBTOTAL is $5000. When you add 9% taxes and 18% gratuity, your bill has increased by $1350 to a grand total of $6350. If your budget is $5000, make sure that includes taxes and gratuity. Consider gratuity for the band and your transportation in the budget as well.

5. Wedding party gifts --- Being a bridesmaid or groomsman is more than just smiling and walking down the aisle. Your loved ones are investing money and time to make sure that your day is special. To me, getting your bridal party gifts are a non-negotiable and can add up quick! Especially, if you have a large wedding party.Don't wait until the last minute to purchase gifts. Purchasing over time will allow you to spread your costs out.  No matter how much time you have, start buying your gifts early! There are also great DIY ideas on Pinterest that can lower your costs as well.

6. Decorations --- Oftentimes, some decorations are included in the cost of your wedding package, particularly if you are having a wedding at a hotel or banquet hall. Most brides and grooms want to add the personal touch to their wedding, especially if they have a theme or color scheme. Just like #3 and #5 purchase your decorations over time. Find decorations that you can assemble or make yourself to make your special day stand out.

7. Alcohol - Open bar sounds great right? Of course, but it means a big cost to the person who is paying for the wedding. There are a lot of opinions on this issue whether an open bar is appropriate, right, wrong, etc. My advice is to think about the group of people you are inviting to your wedding. Are there more drinkers than not? or vice versa? If you feel that an open bar isn't necessary, don't add it to your package.  It could save you a couple thousand dollars. A cost effective alternative is a non-alcoholic specialty drink, or a bottle or two of wine at each table.

8. Favors - Favors can become very costly as you have to consider the cost per person. DIY favors can be cheaper but consider the time that will be put in to prepare them. Pinterest is a great resource to find wedding favors that are inexpensive and your guests will love.

9. Back up Plan --- Are you planning a wedding outside? It is always important to plan for the possibility of rain. This can become very costly especially if you have to pay for both locations regardless. Consider an indoor location to ease anxiety about weather. If you do plan to have a wedding outside, consider using a venue that also has indoor space. You may only have to pay one total price.

and finally.

10. Damages ---So Uncle Rick got a little rowdy and excited and ended up hurling in the hallway, and guess who has to pay for it? You! Damages could be really costly depending on what happens and how much damage is done. Before you sign any contracts for your reception or ceremony location, be clear about what damage charges may incur so that you don't get any surprises!

For all of you who are getting married congratulations! I hope that my tips are helpful to you as you plan one of the most important days of your lives! Enjoy :-)

Which Should I Invest in First - 401(k) or IRA?

My faith walk with vulnerability

This post is inspiried by four women who have impacted my greatly over the past few weeks. They know who they are...

I am very good at putting up a wall, acting like everything is okay and not needing anything.
I am very good at making excuses about things that I want or need because it's easier to do that than to be vulnerable about a situation.
I am very good at negative self talk. Talking my self out of things that I want because I don't think that I'm worthy.

All of these things have hindered me from being who I truly want to be, and opportunities have passed me by because I was too insecure, self-conscious, or afraid. This is not to say that those who know me and care for me, don't know the real me, or that I'm not reaching success, but it does mean that I have let insecurity, self-consciousness, and fear rule me internally. It has been an internal battle that I have been fighting for too long and I am ready to win the war. Why? Because I know I won't be the only one in the fighting.

It all started with two friends of mine. One said,

"You work SO hard...and do SO much...you are impressive, you have such a strong presence, and such poise....I don't know all of your stories, so I don't know all that makes you you, but I want you to know that despite all that you can be weak, you can cry, you can need stuff...I know you don't like to let people see that but you feeling that way DOES NOT diminish the truth of the other stuff. It augments it. Your vulnerability is gorgeous. We are here and think the world of you."

OMG. At first as I was reading what she was writing, I could feel my spirit getting defensive. I could feel myself building up a wall. I haven't let people see this side of me, and she was calling me out on my stuff. But then after reading it again, all she was saying to me was, 'Fatima, ALL of you is beautiful. You are enough, and I will love you the same.' As simple as this was, It was like an aha moment for me. As much as I give in my friendships and relationships, I need to learn to take when I need it. Not only is transparency freeing, but it can take any relationship or friendship to a deeper level. I am so open to allowing people to be vulnerable with me, but me being vulnerable with them was off limits. So, I challenged myself to be transparent, in the words of Brene Brown, 'emotionally expose' myself with two other women who I have been developing friendships with. I was so nervous to show a different side of me, but in the end I felt like my honesty was appreciated and respected.  It was like a weight lifted off my shoulders and I no longer had to hide behind the veil of insecurity with excuses. I could just be me.

Transparency is a faith walk for me. I no longer want to operate in fear. It's crippling. I am enough. I am worthy of all that I want, need, and desire...and I don't have to fight my battles alone!! I know that I have God on my side, and I have a beautiful circle of people who love me just the way that I am. I don't want to just show the good pieces of me, but to be fully transparent, honest, and vulnerable with those who care about me. To me, it's a scary notion, but I am already seeing how vulnerability has been a blessing.

Student loans paid off in 10 years!!

 

So....have you ever felt like you're NEVER going to pay off your student loans? Are you so overwhelmed at the amount of student loans that you have to pay back? Have you thought about being a professional student forever so that you just keep putting off payments?  :-) When I did my exit counseling after graduate school, I was just in shock. I was desperately trying to figure out how I would pay my loans back without going in the hole, or something that would help me along the way.

As a social worker, working in a Title 1 agency, I was eligible for the Public Service Loan Forgiveness  program. As long as I continue to work in a Title 1 agency and  pay 120 payments which as about 10 years worth of payments, all of my Federal Direct  student loans will be forgiven.  You do not have to have a certain type of degree, but there are criteria that you have to meet in order to qualify. Click the link above!

Are your student loan payments too high? Are they more than what you can afford? If you took out federal student loans click HERE to find out if you are eligible for income based repayment, income contingent repayment or pay as you earn repayment plans.

Private loans are difficult to repay and unfortunately many of the repayment programs are not available for people who have taken out private loans. However, many of the private loans have repayment options that will make it easier on your pockets. Check with your private loan servicer to find out your options if you can't afford your payments.

I hope you find something here that saves you some money or shortens your repayment time! Any more info on student loan repayment or forgiveness plans? Share your experience and comment below! Also, check with your school to find out what they offer for forgiveness or repayment options. Look for more student loan forgiveness and repayment programs below.

Federal Student Loan Forgiveness Programs

Association of American Medical Colleges Loan Repayment and Forgiveness Programs 

National Health Service Corps Loan Repayment Program 

American Bar Associations Loan Repayment Programs

Nurse Corps Loan Repayment  Program 

The Dangers of Keeping Up with The Joneses

It's simple. Don't spend money you don't have to buy things you don't need to keep up with people who could really care less..

We've all looked at things other people have and wanted them for ourselves.

I remember when my husband and I were engaged, my father in law took us on the west side of Rochester and he showed us where he and my mother in law lived when they first got married. The purpose was to show us how they started off.  He said something so profound and it has stuck with me to this very day. "DON'T LET DEBT, DETERMINE YOUR DESTINY." Wow. I never thought of it that way. How does this tie in to keeping up with the jones'? Well, we often will go above and beyond, acquiring stuff..to keep up with this persona of what and who people think we are. New clothes, new cars, new phones, big house, big car note, big vacations..big DEBT. Don't you want your goal to be to live life on your terms? Don't live life on the terms of Mastercard, Visa, American Express, and Discover.

Comparison is the theif of joy. We are all on different journeys. What is for you, will be for you, and what is for someone else is for them. Don't worry about what is going on in somebody else's life. If people are so concerned about your clothes, car, shoes, bags, house, and not concerned about who you are, maybe it's time to reevaluate some relationships. God has a plan and purpose for everyone. Don't override HIS plan for yours.

I HOPE I struck a nerve! Let's do better so we can be better!

Dating on a Budget

Valentines day is coming up and who doesn't love a nice date? Well, I guess it depends if you're paying! Dates are great, but they can become expensive really quick. I mean, to go the movies for two is pushing $50. Movie tickets are between $10-$15 a person, and let's not even get started on the cost of popcorn, candy, and a drink! Now, this in no way means that you can't splurge every now and then, but doing it all the time can break the bank!

Let's think fundamentally about the purpose of a date. The purpose of a date is to get to know someone, spend time with your significant other, and have fun! It doesn't matter how much money a person is spending, it's the thought, and the creativity that can make a date much more exciting than a meal and a movie.

My husband and I have been married for a little over 7 months and we have challenged ourselves to think of different ideas to not only save money, but also to be more creative in the time that we spend together.

Here are some ideas for dating on a budget:

• Cook a meal together. Cooking together can build trust, create a team effort, and you can see how your love interest fairs in the kitchen!


• If you live in area that has free concerts or festivals, take advantage of that! They are always fun. (especially in the summer)


• Wine tasting --We live near the Fingerlakes (NY) and wine tasting is like it's own culture. What's great about wine tasting is you can sample several different wines for a very low fee. Sometimes, as low as $2 a tasting.


• Have a cup of coffee! - Most cities and towns, have great local coffee shops where you can get coffee and other specialty drinks. Coffee shops are great places for conversation, and simply enjoying each others company.


• Do something active! Go on a hike, go rock climbing, take a walk in a beautiful garden.


• Movie night in--Grab your favorite movies, a blanket, and your loved one. Snuggle up and enjoy!


• Couples massage - Who doesn't love a massage?


• USE GROUPON!! Groupon is awesome when it comes to date night ideas. You can even personalize your Groupon account to pick out deals that can be used for date nights. You can always save money with this for a variety of things: restaurant deals, massage deals, shows and concerts, and even getaway weekend deals.

Don't go broke, trying to impress him/ her it will be damaging in the long run. Plus, if that "special" someone is only interested in what you can buy or give them, then they might not be the right person for you.

Remember! It's the time spent, not the money that is most important when dating. Have fun!!

Dr. Deena Carr On How To Tap Into Your Fortune [EXCLUSIVE AUDIO]